Moving on
by marmalade bunny
Summary: ... but it is so hard. Pete, i still love you.


_My dear Pete,_

_It has been six months since you have been gone. I still miss your presence and often find myself watching the sky hoping to see planes performing. Oh look at me; I have wet the paper with my tears. I am going to try and move on, I am sure that is what you would have wanted._

_Till next time Pete,_

_Love you,_

_Tazusa._

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Pete,

Guess what? I am 18 and just graduated from school! How lovely is that? Wish you were here to give me my congratulatory kiss, my boyfriend is too lazy! I am kidding, I have no boyfriend, could not find somebody who could replace you.

Love you baby!

Tazusa

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_Pete,_

_Just turned 21! Finished a course in English, and I am thinking of migrating to Canada. I am eager to see the country you came from. I have been preparing myself by going through various books and stuff. Don't worry; I will be continuing my skating there. _

_How many years has it been now? 5 years? Time flies. Here in Japan I have been doing very well but because I am still single, people think either I am a workaholic or a queer. It gets crazier and crazier and now even facing the media doesn't bother me!_

_It's still hard to let you go!_

_Tazusa_

_p.s.: I cut my hair shoulder length and dyed it dark blonde _

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PETE!

I MADE IT! I AM IN CANADA! THEY HAVE EVEN GIVEN ME CITIZENSHIP THOUGH I HAVE BEEN HERE EIGHT MONTHS!

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_Baby,_

_I found love. Rather it found me. He is a pilot just like you! He flies for the army though. He is very nice and gentle, maybe this time I can make an honest effort of moving on. _

_Hope you support my decision._

_Love,_

_Tazusa._

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John and I have been dating for a month, but my heart is empty. He talks of marriage and all I do is nod along while dreaming of skies and our flight together. He has made love to me but I only accept him because I see you, I feel you not him. I still love you Pete.

Help me from my dilemma Pete!

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_This is the third month of us dating and I am pregnant with his baby. He is thrilled and wants to get married soon, maybe in two weeks. I am also happy as I am naming my baby Pete! _

_Maybe we couldn't be happy in life as lovers, so I hope I can be happy with my son who is your namesake._

_Give me strength Pete!_

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Married! Married this Sunday, two weeks as planned. But John won't be here long, he has to travel, orders from above. He whines like a child, reminds me bit of you.

Look at me! I am 23 and married and pregnant! It could have been us; don't you think you idiot if you hadn't left me alone on that frozen lake?

Still love you,

Tazusa.

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_Pete,_

_Sorry I haven't written in a while. Being in an advanced stage of pregnancy and alone, it has been hard to balance everything here. John is still travelling he came in between for two weeks and off again. _

_Though he does not like the idea of staying away from me, I find it better. I still haven't come to love him completely and looking at him sometimes reminds me of what I wish my life should have been._

_Love,_

_Tazusa_

_p.s.: Pete Jr. kicks every time he hears the sounds of planes and the cheers that follow. I think he will be an acrobatic pilot just like you!_

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He is dead, my baby is dead! Three weeks ago my baby died! Some complications took place and my baby, our baby died. The poor baby was still born.

Oh Pete! I am so sorry Pete! My husband says everything will be alright; we will get over it together. I can't bear it anymore! I can't bear living with a man whom I can't love. I can't keep killing him!

I am going to divorce him.

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_Pete,_

_I am now an old woman. After separating from John, I lived my life like a hermit. I moved away from the world and bought a small farm. I tended to my farm and entertained and trained little princesses who came by. Even though I tried to shun people, they would just keep coming to me. Mothers liked to listen to my stories and the children always stay my house, eat supper and sleep on my bed, so I started a bed and breakfast café. Turns out it worked out well since the location of my house was good and there are no other bed and breakfast for some miles, I didn't have to compete with anybody. Who went from here, recommended me to their friends. _

_I have become close to my immediate neighbor, a friendly couple who shifted in ten years ago. They, especially the children, love to drop by and bring me little things from town. It is always a moving gesture. _

_After 37 years of content life, I think I am ready to leave._

_Always have and always will love you,_

_Tazusa_

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My love,

Today I write my will. I have lived three more content years and I am happy enough.

I am leaving my bed and breakfast to my neighbor's children, Samantha, 16 and Peter, 19. I know they have been eyeing it for a while and want to expand it. I am honored that have an interest in my establishment. As a token to the parents, I am leaving the little gold I had got from Japan and saved instead of spending.

I have requested that I should be cremated and letters be burnt with me. My ashes should be thrown into the sky.

I am coming home today Pete, hope you will be there to receive me. If not then I will wait for you in heaven.

Love as always,

Tazusa

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_Tazusa died that afternoon sitting on the back porch, _

_facing her favorite pond with a smile on her face._

_The old slightly heavy Tazusa,_

_Stepped into heaven as the young 16 year old,_

_Who died 47 years ago on that frozen pond,_

_And the first and only person to greet her,_

_Was the smiling, cocky Pete._

_Sweeping the shocked and happy girl into his arms,_

_He kissed her with a passion of years,_

_And said,_

"_Welcome home, sweetie. I too always have and always will love you._

_You and you alone"_


End file.
